To those of you who love to shit on parades, ‘ey..whatever, kiss my ass, I’m aware there are a hell of a lotta blogs out there, and a hell of alot more than have WAY more than 100 hits, but whatever, my first 100, I’m psyched.

I just wanted to put this out there.. the “Lean Mean, etc etc George Foreman Grilling Machine”… those of use who still have the one they used in college :

Do any of us still cook actual meats on it? (aside from hamburgers) Or like me, has it just been reduced to being a sandwich press? 

Just curious.

ALSO.. I was a bit surprised (both in a good and in a ‘wtf’ way) to see that…well.. some of you actually did email me. Some of you said you liked my posts (thanks…Um..don’t wanna seem like a prick, but leave a comment . Others gave me a bit of shit for ‘Wasn’t that ages ago?” but also conceded “But I see your point”, so that’s cool…Also, I’m glad you guys agree with the Tool Academy thing and my Facebook update rant.

Aaaaaand, last but not least, some of you actually wrote questions/asked for advice (in its own sense, if you’re asking me for advice, my first piece of advice is : seek help ;P). And on that note :

-First, and foremost. And I just want to get this outta the way : No. I would in fact NOT like to suck ANYONE’S cock. Got it? Awesome. Oh and about that.. you fuuuucking MORONS. If you’re gonna send an email and put at the bottom ‘Anonymous’, you MIGHT want to remember that a lot of emails tend to say your name in the subject line anyways… Jackasses.

-Boxer briefs or nothing at all. It’s mostly a seasonal thing to be honest.

-Favorite drink? I kid you not, chocolate milk . Not a huge fan of alcohol.

-Contrary to popular belief, I prefer being in an actual relationship…

-I tend to prefer rainy days. But my favorite type of day is probably ‘grey’ days (after a lot of raining, the days that you don’t see the sun all day, and the clouds just take up everything). Specially if it’s during what I call ‘Sweater Weather’

… And..well.. there was an email that was, well, a bit more serious. I’d be a douche to not address it, so here we go.

-Dear Megan (no, not her/your real name), first off, I hope only you can relate to this, and that there aren’t other girls that aren’t you and read this and think something along the lines of “Wow, I’m going through the same thing…’

Anyways.. Meg (can I call you Meg, fake Megan?) I want you to pay close attention to this.. re-read it if you have to : If is NOT ok for a guy to hit a girl. Period. I don’t give a shit how stressed he is/was, or how you kept ‘nagging’ (for God’s sake, you were just trying to talk to the guy after a long week…) at him after he got home after being out with his friends.

..Ok, wait.. ONLY time it’s ok to hit a woman is .. well.. if she has a gun or bladed weapon that she intends to use on you, in that case…well.. shit, go for it. And even then, I’d probably try to go for a hold of some sort than actually hit a female… That or if it would somehow save a life (preferably a loved one)…

But this was clearly not the case with you, hun. This asshole hit you because he had a headache and you were trying to talk to him? Unacceptable. Not only that, but you mentioned that it’s happened before.

I MIGHT be able to ‘play ball’ when it comes to this punk if he had gone to anger management like you suggested. He didn’t. And everytime he hits you, he later says he’s sorry and that it won’t happen again. Meg, you gotta listen to me. Notice the pattern. He’s not going to stop doing it. And he’s unwilling to make an attempt to change. Fucking run. Get out of that situation. I know it’s easier said than done. I also know that you wrote about how you feel about him… You really love this guy, and you recognize you shouldn’t, but you do (it sucks how little choice one has in whom one loves). And you’re afraid that leaving him will leave a void inside you.

Look, not gonna go into full detail (because a) this is about you, not me b) really dont’ want to get into it. Not to mention, it’d take a while), but I know what you’d be going through if you two do split up (in the sense of not being with someone you TRULY love, not the ‘Hit my partner’ aspect). -Stop rolling your eyes-  My ex.. I still love her.. a great deal. I’m lucky to not be in love with her anymore, but I still do love her a lot (friends of mine that read this and will try to talk to me about this : it’s not something I can control). And she acts as if though I were nothing but an empty space. I honestly believe she probably wouldn’t notice or care if I was gone permanently. Or if something really bad happened to me. These are unfortunately not exaggerations. And  we work at the same place, so that’s awesome. My point in me telling you this? If (and I hope you do) you get away from that situation, yes, it’s going to hurt. A lot (if you love him the way you say you do). You will miss them, you will feel like some sort of void is inside of you. Like something incredible has been lost to you and you feel its absence, as it bears down on you more and more each passing day (something you had never felt before, to make matters worse)… And it’s gonna be that shithole for a while…    But it gets to a point that, well, it does get better. At times the line blurs, and you can’t really tell if it’s that things have gotten better or that you’ve just gotten used to it, but either way, you start to realize : “I’m alright”.

Blah, starting to thing about her, SO to get back on track : Look.. I know this is a LOT easier said than done, but babe, you really need to get the hell outta that situation. Men should not strike women, and that’s that (OK, ok, and even though there’s a few of you -you know how you are, ladies!- that take advantage of this and wail on the guy, the guy should at most just put you in a bear hug or sleeper, or get in the car and just leave, but not hit you). If (I hope it’s more like ‘When”) you leave his sorry ass, it’s gonna hurt fucking BAD. You’re gonna miss him like crazy because you love him that much, and it’ll be hell for a long ass time…. But you’ll be out of a relationship that could potentially get you killed.

Need more incentive? You won’t be getting your ass beat… Just saying, if I had an incentive to do something that was along the lines of ‘Not getting punched in the face’, I’d be looking forward to that ;P

I really hope this helps you somehow  and you listen to me… You have my email if you want to talk some more.

WELL, this is along ass post!..

OH, and to whoever it was : Spam? Really? Cmon, don’t be a douche. Not cool.

Later, people. Again, thanks for the hits

I believe every guy has one (or let’s be honest, a few) friend who will text (or im …whatever, you get the point) you outta the blue with something along the lines of ‘Dude, have you seen -insert name of hot girl here-? Check her out’. I know I do. And he’s from back home… Let’s call him Carlitos

A few nights ago, I get an im :

‘Bro, have you seen a model called Bianca Freire?’

‘Nope’

‘Google her real quick’  -I google her-

‘Cute

‘Yeah, like that?’

‘Yeah, she’s hot’

‘Keep looking at a few pics’

‘Why? she nekkid?? lol’

‘Haha, yeah, just keep looking at some pics’

‘Awesome’

I do, and what do I find? A girl with a pretty face… and a hard, throbbing cock staring right back at me.

‘Ah, wtf, you asshole lol’

‘Hahaha, I thought you said you liked that shit! Still think she’s pretty?’

‘Bravo *claps slowly*… Alright, alright.. you got me, that was good’

‘Damn right, bitch’

So, we talk a bit more, joke around and what not. And then it hit me. And I had to go in for the killing blow…

“Hey.. I got a quick question, nig’

‘Shoot’

‘Sooooo… how exactly did you find out about the tranny? Just saying, not really info one tends to, you know, stumble upon.. unless you’re looking for it’

-no reply-

‘Are you still there?’

-no reply-

‘Perhaps there’s something you’d like to share with the rest of the class? I won’t judge’

-Carlitos is currently offline-

And THAT, my friends is a D.E.O. Delayed Epic Ownage.

….and holy shit am I dissapointed    HATE to admit that but yeah.. I was expecting more of the same, don’t get me wrong.. but sequels are supposed to add things… not substract..

The ‘dumbing down’ from Xmen Legends 2 to Ultimate Alliance 1 was a bit weird, but ok (though I missed that XL2 had more combos).. but Ultimate Alliance 2… Graphically , the characters look great.. the backgrounds….not so much.. fusion powers are cool… at first, until you realize that they recycle them over and over. Less combos… zero customization on powers (yup…aside from making the powers strongers, you’re stuck with the same powers throughout the whole game, you can’t change shit), most characters feel the same unless you’re using the powers (and even this is a half truth since every energy/projectile user feels the same)…And the storyline… starts off great.. playing almost directly off of the Civil War comics…. aaand then we’re given some bullshit Skynet storyline right when the Civil War storyline is about to kick into high gear.

OH and the game just came out, and already, it’s only worth 25 bucks trade in… on every platform.. yup, psp and 360 version will net you the same amount. DLC is confirmed, but.. um.. what are they gonna do? make us pay for extra outfits when in UA1 we had like 4 to choose from? (and most of the time, the ONE alternate costume we DO get is crap… Old Iron Man?! awesome!… SO much better than the movie one or War Machine -who for once looks great and drastically different from Iron Man-, Cap America… WW2 version… and no Ultimate Version… Spidey… ok, I”ll admit, I like how the Stark Armor looks in this one -specially with the 3 legs on the back-, but no black and white?… wtf) Point being that not only do we only get one damn costume, but a lot of the times, well.. the costumes just aren’t all that better (and don’t affect stats like in UA1). But at least we’ll get to pay for more costumes! … *sigh*

So.. the good about the game…. Umm… combat is cool… familiar, but enjoyable.. the character graphics… The story is cool (before Skynet)..online play has little to no lag….aaand I think that’s all I got.

Hate to say this, but all in all, this game is pretty dissapointing. I give it a 6/10.

P.S. Mini strategy guide : If stuck on a particular level, a) how the hell did you get stuck? b) change your team to : Wolverine, Deadpool, Juggernaut…and the fourth doesn’t even matter to be honest.

My favorite genres are Rock (and its subgenres : emo, alternative, punk, metal…etc, etc, etc), Salsa, Merengue and probably Instrumental/Soundtrack music… But, unfortunately, even in my favorite genres, a lot of fucking up ensues… so I’ve decided to bitch about said moments

At most, maybe a few of you read some of them and think  “Glad to know I’m not the only one that noticed” or something along those lines *shrungs*

And here….we… GO! (yay for Joker references) :

- Jimmy Eat World : Pain is SUCH an amazing song… arguably your best one yet… so why that shitty video? Seriously, to call it dissapointing is to be generous.

- Evanescence : My Last Breath is such a great song… that has no video. Everybody’s Fool isn’t a bad song, but.. how that one gets a video and My Last Breath doesn’t is beyond me… And “The Open Door”… wow.. um… what a turd of an album.

- Kanye West : granted, nowhere near any of my favorite genres…and.. well.. what can I say about this prick that hasn’t been said already? (even by our president) But I will say this… anyone notice how he never happens to get the urge to pull one of his little stunts with a band/artist that is likely to give him the beating he should get to be put in his place?… Interesting, huh?

- Record labels : Ok, there is SO much that I can talk about regarding them. But I’ll focus on the thing that probably messes with fans the most : The butchering of great songs. I really really REALLY wish they’d stop doing that. Labels… you really don’t know as much as you think about what makes the songs great.. you know who does though? The fans that put those bands on the map by word of mouth and whatnot… WHY do you think their demos got you to sign them? Because the songs were fantastic… yet, naaaah.. let’s change the songs, make them ‘better’ then spit them out so the bands’ fans can buy the big label cd and wonder ‘…what the hell happened?’ My personal favorite ( or most hated for that matter) examples : Anberlin’s original “Feel Good Drag” vs the version found in New Surrender… horrible, awful.. it’s like they told him to hold back on his singing… they fucked it. Pretty much every pre-Fallen Evanescence song… Taking Over Me, Fields of Innocence, Everybody’s Fool, Imaginary, Going Under, Haunted and Tourniquet (pretty much the entire Fallen cd), ALL of them, the original versions of the song are SO MUCH BETTER than what they gave the masses in Fallen (…Whisper might be the exception here).  The Killers : the original versions of Somebody Told Me and Mr. Brightside… fantastic. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus : Face Down and Justify…. If you want to see what I mean (or hear for that matter), well.. do some digging around on Youtube or Ebay. Chances are you’ll unfortunately have to agree.

-Some Evanescence fans : Idiots… hear me… for the last time.. Even In Death is NOT about necrophilia…

-Evanescence : You guys really should re-release Origin. Also.. ‘Anything for you’ and ‘Missing’… add them in the re-release and cut out the last 2 minutes of “Yeah yeah”s from ‘Anywhere’ (such a fantastic ‘mushy’ song, but those last few minutes… yawn…)

- WHY is it that great bands like Three Days Grace, Metallica, My Chemical Romance, 30 Seconds to Mars and a few others take forever to release new albums… yet shitty bands like Nickleback seem to churn out at cd (that sounds exactly like the last one) seemingly every 8 months?… AND THEY SELL!!…. *sigh*… what the hell, people?.. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! (..Ferrell Zoolander reference ).

-Linkin Park : After Meteora… add cursing in the songs to substitute quality… awesome (as you people might’ve noticed, I have no problem with profanity/cursing, but I honestly always liked that Linkin Park had great songs and cds that didnt’ have the “explicit lyrics” label…if the label had come with the same level of quality of Hybrid Theory, Reanimation and Meteora, fine..but sadly that is not the case -at least not in my eyes..er…ears-)

….Hm.. I think that’s it for this one.. Unfortunately, chances are they’ll be a sequel to this Post at some point in the future… but that’s good enough for now.

… You’ll see what I mean.

So, this is about the time I went to see Transformers 2 (…or Revenge of the Fallen… what-the-fuck-ever, people, don’t nitpick), and I fell into the “Loved it” group of people.

YET… something was amiss… terribly, horribly amiss (and no, not referring to Even Stevens being seemingly invincible…and yes, to me he’ll always be Even Stevens) : What… THE HELL… was the robot heaven scene all about?!

Best part is.. if you saw the movie, I don’t have to explain what part I’m referring to. The SECOND after that scene happened, I couldn’t help but think “…Shit… seems some people are right.. I am losing it.. “

But then it happened… the whispers. “…the fuck?”  “What was that all about?”  “….did that just happen” etc, etc, etc. All around me, my friends and other people were at the same level of perplexed. I was relieved to see I wasn’t losing it after all (…I think? ).

Yet that begs the question :  What the hell were they thinking?!?!? What the hell was wrong with them? Putting such a crap scene in an otherwise good movie??

And an even better question emerges. How did this human make it into robot heaven… YET.. Optimus, leader of the Autobots, the benevolent robots was nowhere to be found in robot heaven.

…..And so I wonder… WHY did Optimus not make it into robot heaven? Sure, NOW he’s the poster child for good, human loving robots everywhere; but what about his past? Does he have some dark and terrible secret from his past? Perhaps an evil deed from his troubled youth?  The world may never know…

Though my theory is that when he was younger, he brutally raped a red Miata

…or a similar small, girly car.

SO.. here we are! Hispanic Heritage month! (yay! we get our own month!…yawn).

I was at work yesterday and they said they were gonna have sno cones in the main break room because it was the start of Hispanic Heritage month… And why do they do this? Because it’s something that, well.. IS associated with us.. If you go to Puerto Rico (also Dominican Republic and Colombia), specially in Old San Juan, you’ll see a lot of sno cone vendors on the streets… they’re even included in paints that are up for sale.. and they’re nice piece of art…

SO.. they have the sno cones because they’re associated with us… it’s like if they had said it was gonna be rice, beans and chicken… So fucking what.. I did not care nor was I offended.. neither were any of my fellow latinos there..

Which got me thinking… how come black people would’ve blown a fuse if it had been their month and they had said ‘Watermelon slices in the main break room’ ? Think of this post what you will, but.. think about it.. I have a point…

And to the possible ‘racism’/'struggles’ rebuttals… Yeah.. racism sucks.. but food is great! So what if certain ethnicities are associated with some food types?  And the struggles.. I’m Puerto Rican.. which means that there’s a very good chance that a ‘great great great’ relative of mine was either a native indian that was enslaved…OR a slave that was raped by a prick conquistador from Spain.  Not saying that black people haven’t been through shit.. they def. have.. specially your relatives from waaay back when.. what I’m saying is.. you’re not the only group that has to deal with racism or that whose relatives from long ago went through some seriously messed up scenarios (and said scenarios didn’t happen to you PER SE… just saying, I haven’t gotten raped by a Spaniard…so no reason in me acting like I was).

I guess what I’m trying to say (if anything, it’s mostly just a rant)  is : Chill the fuck out. We get sno cones (and could’ve been rice and beans) wtfever.. it’s true, we’re known for that, so what?  Had it been black history month and watermelons, I know someone would’ve managed to be at work on a podium crying bloody murder. Which I guess annoys me a bit…

That’s it for now. If this post pissed you off…um.. *shrugs* not sure what to tell ya…

But alas, something bugs me about this show… big time… The IDIOTIC..moron women on said show…. I know initially I’m gonna sound like a jerk for being annoyed with these women because they’re crying, but bare with me…

They sit there and sob and cry because ‘I can’t believe he did this!.. I mean, he’s been like this since we met, but…’  OK.. now stop right there, jackass… ‘he’s been like this since we met’.. theeeeen.. WHYYYY the hell are you crying, bitching and moaning now?.. He’s been a dumbass meathead since day one.. hell, you probably met him at a party after he did a keg stand and said ‘hey.. you’re pretty hot’ (and let’s saaaay… 2? maybe 3 hours later, give or take, you were going down on him)… He’s who you chose, what you chose.. you chose him because he’s ‘hot’, has a six pack, and parties…and now you try to change him and condemn him because of it?

Don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for these ladies (to an extent… for an example, I don’t tend to feel too sorry for the smoker that has been smoking since he was 14 and gets lung cancer when he’s 38…and of course at some point, he asks -out loud-  ‘how could this happen to me?’… really?), but… c’mon.. you knew what you were getting into…

Another way of putting it.. If I go to Best NY Pizza and ask for a double cheese with pepperoni, I’m not gonna bitch if after a few slices I see it’s not a supreme.

Fellow gamers, enjoy (or hate on me, *shrugs*)

How the hell does a PSP game (FF Dissidia) get a ‘save fight replay’ feature and an XBOX 360 game like UFC Undisputed doesn’t?…

Please, gaming gods, let Fire Pro Wrestling come to XBOX Live at some point…

Games suffering from Maddenitis (for gamers out there, you know what I mean.. for gamers who don’t know what I mean : when a game comes out, year after year, that’s pretty much the same game, yet it always gets rating of 7 or higher) : Madden (duh)…and most sports games for that matter… Smackdown vs Raw (I like wresling games, so I hate to have to admit that, but yeah)…same game models since 2002..unrealistic ones at that.. Rick Flair with a six pack?.. really? (not only that, but with games like TNA and UFC looking how they do, shouldn’t you step it up?)…. .RockBand and Guitar Hero… how the hell is GH5 already out?.. and why is RB: Beatles causing so much buzz?… it’s the same fucking game (before you Rock Band fans start coming at me, I prefer and own Rock Band 2…).. when I ask some people why, I get ‘well, thing is that when you do certain things, you unlock…’… so.. because of unlockables?.. really?.. THAT’S why this game is getting high ratings?… *sigh*… I think that’s it for the worse Maddenitis offenders…

Batman : Arkham Asylum… yes… thank you, ‘whoever developed this game whose name I can’t remember’    even with the ‘Gear of Batman’ feel it has (the overall look of the game, and don’t tell me Killer Croc doesn’t look like a giant locust drone from Gears..), specially at the beggining, such a great, original game.. gives me hope that someday they’ll be a good Superman game… maybe someday *tear*

Need for Speed/EA.. did you learn nothing from Pro Street? (referring to Shift)… we dont’ want sim from you guys.. we want cheesy acted cut scenes and awesome cop chases… though add some of burnout’s sense of speed

Burnout Paradise… I love you.. but the no humans city/car crashes is kinda weird…

Unreal 3.. why couldn’t you just literally rip off Halo 3′s achievement/tracking system?… or Call of Duty’s for that matter

PC vs Console…. honestly, my main/only comment is.. why do PC gamers always have to come off as such snobs towards console gamers?… Don’t get me wrong, really couldn’t care less what the overweight guy in the pony tail that looks like a clone of  ‘comic book guy’ from the Simpsons thinks of me, but it’s a bit annoying, really…

I think that’s it for now….

I went to a Walmart (I know when you read that, give then previous sentence, at least 5 witty comments came to mind) and I went to check out… NOW… I’m aware not everyone is familiar with body language.. BUT, I’m pretty sure that nodding/moving your head up and down is widely known to mean ‘Yes”, right?…. Well.. the girl asks me ‘Do you want your receipt in the bag? I briskly move my head up and down.. And what is her reply? “Is that a yes?”

I’ll let that sink in…. I proceed to tilt my head to the side, with a bemused expression on my face “Yes.. that’s a yes… put the receipt in the bag….

The second and more recent one… I was walking into a Friday’s (do they stil use the TGI?) with my friend Glass, when I heard something… wow.. I overheard a man say, and I quote ‘Well, I was expecting the sauce to taste like the actual Jack Daniels liquor, which I’ve never had”

… yeah.

Just felt like sharing.. hope you’re having a good weekend.

But I figured I’d start things off light… so I will talk about a grievance (or annoyance, call it what you will) of mine… And it can be found on Facebook… Best part? I’m pretty sure anyone who has a Facebook can relate to this (and if you don’t agree, at the least you’ll know what I’m talking about)

It REALLY irks me when I log on… and find a fucking ‘deep’ paragraph about existentialism, or philosophy, etc… Or what could be best described as a two page excerpt from some obscure author’s book or poem…

That space is not for that.. it’s for meaningless, common shit, or inside jokes… “pizza with megan, then off to the party.. hell yeah’ Acceptable ‘..yeah, crab ran goon is great there my ass! lol’ with three of that person’s friends hitting ‘like’ because it’s an inside joke… Acceptable..

NOW… ‘It always feel like we are falling.. but into what?.. if into anything.. and why do we fall at all? does it even matter in the end? or could it be that the only thing that really matters is not only IF we land.. but if we get up afterwards… all because you had to learn to crawl’ -R@v3n tears4rom3yes-

THAT shit is.. well.. dumb.. for lack of a better term.. no one thinks it’s interesting, just so you know… no one thinks you’re deep or interesting.. in fact.. let’s say you have… 40.. yeah.. forty.. people in your friends list.. I’d saaaaay… 29 of them thought something along these lines ‘.. what the fuck is up with them?’ or ‘wow, fucking lame’ when they read that…

So please.. stop it… and you know damn well who you are.. because you’re probably the ones that’ll reply in an angry manner to this And seriously, no one cares.. you don’t seem deep or interesting.. just comes off as rather toolish…

AND in advance to the ‘well you don’t HAVE to read it if you don’t like it!’ replies.. it’s kinda THERE you know? Like two fugly people making out right in front of you.. You sure as hell don’t wanna look, but… well.. lo and behold, there they are… So yeah.. that’s what those things are.. like two fugly people making out.. haha, what the hell, Ozzy…